My Boss Is Gonna LOVE My New 'Do

Those of you that have read my blog for a while (even when I stopped blogging for almost a year) know that I change my hair ALL the time. So it should come as no surprise that this weekend I dyed it...pink.

Ok so it's not TOTALLY pink but has pink/raspberry highlights. Here I'll show you.

My before picture where I'm pretending to eat a giant donut pillow (like you wouldn't do this. psh). I had major roots and light brown and blond highlights.

And my after with "raspberry kamikaze" highlights. Although it's faded a bit from this color.

My best friend did it for me in her kitchen sink. I think it looks cool. I'm sure it will fade out but that's ok because I'm sure my boss will HATE it.

Oh well he can always blame my bff. She did it. And she's been working here for 17 years and practically runs the place so that's the only reason I can get away with it.

Maybe next time I'll go with teal. Hmm what do you think?

Birchbox - It Has Nothing To Do With Trees Or Birch

Have y'all heard of Birchbox before? I hadn't until last month and then I was hooked.

You sign up with them and for $10 a month they send you samples of super awesome beauty products. Like nail polish, anti-aging stuff, makeup, skin care, hair products, perfume... it's awesome!

I think it's like 4 samples a month. And they come in a super cute box all wrapped up and girly. I love it!

I got my box in yesterday and it had some perfume, anti-aging eye crap (I swear I can see a difference when I put it on), under eye cream/concealer, grayish/lavender nail polish (which I'm wearing today) and some granola (yea they throw in healthy body crap..blah blah blah).

It's pretty cool to get these expensive ass name brand samples because I can't afford to buy the stuff and then hate it. And if you DO want to buy it, you can get it through their site.

So far I've gotten 2 boxes and have ripped into those suckers like it's crack. I love beauty stuff. You'd never know it since I'm makeup disabled and only wear powder and mascara. I have a HUGE makeup bag at home...just sitting there. Laughing at me and flipping me the bird.

Oh sure I use the stuff...on Halloween. That's my day to practice putting on eyeliner. Also, I suck at it! AND look like a whore. So yea.

Anyway, y'all go check out Birchbox. You can cancel any time and you can do it monthly or any way you want. I think it's pretty cool and only 10 bucks.

P.S. I was NOT paid or given shit for writing this. I mean come on, who would pay me to talk about their products. I use descriptions like "Anti-aging eye crap" and "expensive ass name brands". Yea I agree, THEY'RE the ones missing out on my advertising genius.

Geeze What The Hell Happened To Me?

I seemed to have forgotten all about my little bloggie boo. Just reading my last post, I realized my kid now has all his teeth (even though they are gigantic) and I have a new tattoo on my foot.
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I'm still the same ole me. Maybe a little "fluffier" than before though. I've just been taking care of the fam and getting along with my life.
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Reading some books on my kindle and watching some TV on the tube. Oh y'all, have you seen the TV show "The Walking Dead"? Because seriously, that show kicks major ass.
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I'm sure y'all would have guessed that I watch a show about Zombies. I mean come on, it's me! Horror Queen.
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Oh shit I didn't even blog pictures of me from Halloween. I even wore red contacts this year. Let me go find a picture. Hold on...
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My contacts were SO cool. I'm definitely gonna try a different kind this Halloween
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Tax season is fixing to start which sucks donkey ass. I'll try to blog a little bit when I get the chance. Hell I don't even know if anybody is gonna read this anyway.

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If you're reading this, I SO missed you! ;)

Unlimited Shoes in ONE

Y'all know I am a total shoe whore. I love me some shoes. And I can NEVER have enough.

Well my bff told me about some shoes she saw on TV. You can change the tops of the sandals to create different looks. They're called Onesoles.

So when she went to a local store to try some on I agreed to go. I had no plans of buying any since they were like $80 online.

Well we get there and I was talked into trying a pair on. Guys, they are so cute! And I only tried on the plain black ones.

After walking around in them I decided they weren't too bad. They don't pinch my fat feet or rub since the material on the upper is slip-proof . <-- I made that word up

So I ended up buying a pair (they were only $60 at our local store) and I bought a sparkly bandanna colored top to go with it.

The tops just snap onto the shoe. Easy peasy. A brand new shoe is made with every top.

Then I went online to the onesole official website to look around. Y'all! There was a freaking sale section on there. I ordered a butterfly clog top, a flowered top and these bad boys. My fave!

You can't tell in the picture but they are pink. And I think I paid $15 for the top, while our local store was charging $20 for ugly tops.

I love my new shoes and they are pretty comfy too. Not as comfy as my Nike gel flip flops but probably the most comfortable heel sandal I own. They don't pinch my feet or rub.

Y'all totally need to go check out the website. The designer made them originally to take on trips so she wouldn't have to pack so many pairs of shoes. They are super cool and I'm so glad I found them.

P.S. I wasn't paid for this post. NOBODY pays me anything, but I'm available if anybody is interested. LOL I just really like these shoes. Check em out.

P.P.S. Yes I know my toes are crooked. I can't help that.

P.P.S.S. I just got a pedicure yesterday or else you would NOT be seeing a picture of my feet.

My Pre-Beach Burn

My brother got a new swimming pool so we went swimming yesterday. We had a pool party for the kids since they made it through 1st grade.

Well I slathered sunscreen on me and Speedy. 75 spf to be exact. But what I didn't do was put it on my legs. And then I sat in a pool floatie and floated around for maybe 20 minutes. When I got home my legs were on FIRE.

My legs are totally screwed and swolen. I'm currently sporting a dress today and spraying solarcaine on every so often.

Speedy was as red as a crawfish last night. Thank goodness his burn is gone today. Mine is still burning the fire out of me.

We're going on vacation this Saturday so I like to think that this burn is to prepare me for the trip. I'm gonna slather on the sunscreen every 30 minutes when we're on the beach. For now I just hope mine fades away.

And don't expect me to come home with a tan. I don't tan, I freckle. Oh the woes of having almost transparent skin.

I'm Baaackk...Well Maybe...I Can't Guarantee Anything

Well hello there! Yea I've been missing since freaking March. I just got all caught up with stuff. Here I'll tell you more.

Tax season is over (Yayyyyy!!!)

I'm only working 5 days a week now

Speedy joined a baseball team

He didn't want to pay attention

He quit said baseball team within a week

I'm kinda glad about that

I've been baking my ass off

Not really

I wish I could actually do that to my ass though

I'm thinking of making a cookie blog

But not with this account

Nobody can know about the real me

I'll let y'all know when I make it

Anybody even reading this

*crickets*

I enjoy decorating cookies

I've invested way too much in it

Anybody want an order give me a shoutout

Here's my facebook cookie page

Go like it

I'm getting much better at decorating

Speedy got an award for getting all E's this year

He's officially a 2nd grader

He also got student of the month for May

He's on a 2-year winning streak with that

He's pretty awesome

Except he annoys the dog

And Flapjack runs and barks at him

Flapjack is my little guy

He makes me laugh

And is mildly special in the head

I'm going to the beach next weekend

I'm gonna be there for 5 days

I'm packing my SPF 85

I got sunburned this weekend helping split firewood

By help I mean I ran the lever on the wood splitter

I did this for 20 minutes and got burned on my neck

It hurt all week

I'm so white I'm almost invisible

Except when I get in the sun

Then I turn into Freckle Freak

Really who the hell needs freckles

Guess I better get back to "work"

P.S. My boss is out of town

Could you tell

Lots Happening (Said Like Mr. Miyagi)

I've been super busy with work and haven't had time to blog so here's what's been going on.

I turned 30. YUCK and more YUCK

I bought myself a Kindle for my birthday (I love it!) I'm reading "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"

Tax season sucks hairy balls

Flapjack got his balls cut off yesterday (He looked so sad last night, but he's better today)

I tiled the floor of my bathroom BY MYSELF (hubby just watched and handed me things I needed)

I cut my finger with a box cutter and it sucks typing

Tax season sucks

I'm going into the cookie making business

My first 2 orders are this weekend

They're for my bff who I made a trade with

I make my niece cookies and she gives me an Old Navy gift card

I already spent my gift card

My boss has an order in for St. Patrick's Day

I'm overcharging him

The redneck parade down my road is this weekend

I'm going to watch

And laugh at lots of people

I've been working 6 days a week

I'm tired and can't catch up with my sleep

A weenie dog wakes me up at 3 in the morning when hubby gets out of bed

I told hubby to take him with him when he gets up

If he doesn't listen tonight, I will stab him

Hubby, not the dog

He's just a dog for Pete's sake

Hubby is an ass because he can eat cookies at 3 in the morning EVERY.NIGHT. and not gain a pound

Speedy is doing his best in school

He must be able to read 50 words a minute by May in order to graduate 1st grade

That's a bunch of bullshit

I couldn't read at that age and look how great I turned out

Scratch that last statement

A cute client just came in and I didn't stutter or blush

Thanks Lexapro

We're teaching Speedy to ride his bike

We suck as teachers

He fell off and skint his knee

I made him get back on

He hated me for a few minutes

He loves me again though :)

He still can't ride his bike

I can't do pushups

We're even

I ordered a new bed and sofa

I spent my tax refund before it even went in the bank

The sofa probably won't fit through my front door

I'm screwed

I might be taking apart my new sofa

Or tearing a hole in the wall

My new bed cost a fortune

But it's like laying on a cloud

I'll never tell a soul how much I paid for it

EVER so don't ask

Just know that Lexapro was involved in my decision making

I've gotta get back to work

I don't want to

Did I mention I hate tax season...